Civilisation. The Early Years.

Don't be a dim-witted, dull-witted, cement-headed bladder brain twit! Read on and learn from my awesome intellect!

ANCIENT GREECE

Civilisation had its beginning in Ancient Greece. Now the Ancient Greeks were a busy lot, they didn't just wander around being ancient! They ascertained many important features of the universe, and there were great scientists in Ancient Greece, like Harry Stottle and Archie Medies. Course, sometimes they'd be tired, and would spend a few days doing nothing but being ancient. So much for Greece.

ROME

It was the Romans who brought civilisation to England. Brits at that time were a bit uncivilised, and the Romans were confronted by the Iceni, led by their queen, Boadicea. Now Boadicea was a tough babe, and she taunted Rome's legionnaires.

"You Italian's get lost pronto," she shouted, "or I'll boot you right in the Dolomites!"

And a boot in the Dolomites can be nasty! The Roman's were all scared of this fearsome female, except one brave man who jumped onto Boadicea's chariot, and seized her, then smacked her in the gob. "Take that you stroppy bitch!" He yelled.

Encouraged by his bravery, the Roman's attacked, and soon conquered England. Back in Rome, when the senators heard of this, they determined to honour the brave legionnaire who'd saved Rome from humiliation, but nobody knew who he was, he'd just disappeared in the battle. So it was decided that from then on the Roman emperor would be named after the moment this brave man had seized Boadicea, and that's how the Roman emperors came to be called 'Ceaser'. (I expect Ceaser is Latin for 'seized her'). 

My next post will be 'the coming of the Vikings'.