Richard the Lion Heart
King Richard was a brave king, so courageous he was known as Richard the Lion Heart! Or to his friends as Big Dick! And of course we British chaps are renowned for our big dicks! He went on to lead a crusade, and, er, apart from that, not a lot.
About the same time Nottingham was plagued by a bunch of commies known as Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Motivated by the politics of greed they went around robbing anyone with a bit of dosh. His main associates were a rogue cleric called Friar Fuck, And a guy known as Little John. John was actually a very big guy, but his staff was very small, and we British chaps are renowned for our mighty staffs! And a lady known as Maid Marianne was also in the gang. She was known as 'Maid' because just about everybody had made her!
And it should be mentioned that at this time stories circulated about a legendary king of the past, King Arthur. He commanded a group of brave knights, the bravest of all being Lancelot. That wasn't actually his name, he was called Lancelot because of his popularity with the ladies, and did lance a lot! And of course we British chaps are renowned for our mighty lances!
Next post,
Elizabeth the 1st
England's mightiest queen
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